Why Marriage Should be Based on Mutual Love and Commitment to Islam, Not Materialism

In a world that often places a high value on wealth and status, it can be easy for young Muslims to get caught up in the materialistic aspects of marriage and lose sight of its true purpose. As believers, it is important for us to remember that marriage is not an auction to the highest bidder or a competition to see who can provide the most lavish lifestyle. Instead, it is a relationship and an act of worship, one that should be based on mutual love, respect, and commitment to Allah.

As the Quran teaches us, “And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts” (Surah 30:21). Marriage should be a source of love, compassion, and tranquility, not a source of stress or conflict.

In Islam, the primary motivation for seeking a spouse should be their religiosity and commitment to the faith. The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “A woman may be married for four reasons: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty, or for her religion. Choose the one who is religious, and you will prosper” (Sahih Bukhari). While financial stability is certainly a desirable quality in a partner, it should not be the sole determining factor in choosing a spouse. It is important to remember that Allah is the provider, and that our sustenance comes from Him alone.

Unfortunately, for many young Muslims today, finding a suitable spouse can be a challenging process. One common roadblock is the cultural expectations and personal biases of their families and communities. Oftentimes, these expectations can be based on outdated or incorrect understandings of Islam, and may place undue emphasis on superficial qualities such as wealth or social status. This can make it difficult for young Muslims to find a spouse who is truly compatible with them, both in terms of their values and their relationship with Allah.

In order to tackle this problem, it is important for parents to be more understanding and open to the realities of the 21st century. Times have changed, and the experiences and expectations of the youth of today may differ from those of past generations. As the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “The best of you are those who are best to their families” (Sahih Bukhari). It is important for parents to listen to and respect the needs and desires of their children, and to strive for a more balanced and fair approach to marriage.

Communication is key in any relationship, and this is especially true in the context of marriage. It is important for young Muslims to openly and honestly communicate their needs and expectations with their families and potential spouses. This can help to avoid misunderstandings and complications in the marriage process, and can help to ensure that the relationship is built on a strong foundation of mutual understanding and respect.

In conclusion, marriage is a relationship and an act of worship that should be based on mutual love, respect, and commitment to Allah. It is important for young Muslims to remember this, and to resist the temptation to place undue emphasis on superficial qualities such as wealth or social status. By communicating openly and honestly with their families and potential spouses, and by striving for a more balanced and fair approach to marriage, we can help to ensure that the marriage process is a positive and fulfilling experience for all involved.